Who We Have & What We Give.

God created us to be loved and to love in return. There is nothing selfish about love, nothing conceited, nothing torturous about it. It drains us of everything we have, but in the best way possible, it brings the light back, and stops the heaviness that weighs our hearts down. Love isn’t a bet you can place, isn’t something you can just burry alive, it’s something you want to dig up, something you need so you don’t fall into that grave you will once know later on. Love is not a cold dead thing, it’s one cell that will continuously multiply. You try stopping that, you’re just stopping yourself. You push and you push that one person you really care for to get to the bottom of their hurt, for them to shake it off. Truth is, I’d be that punching bag, I’d take the beatings for you because you need to know that I’m not hanging by nothing, I’m hanging on to you. I hold on for dear life, even when it all gets blurry, even when I can’t focus and want to let go, I keep holding on to that one strand of you. If it was possible to sync your pain into my system, into my body, I’d make it happen. I’d suck the cells out of you that are eating you alive, I’d take them upon myself because somehow I have in my mindset that I deserve it all, and by all I mean the pain that circulates my body, that throbs into my head, and tugs on my heart. I'd love you even if we are miles apart. You keep me alive.

And Here We Go.

And here we go making fools out of one another, with the stories we told, with lies we spoke, with the feelings we felt, and with the cards we dealt. Why do we hold the those grudges, the ones that lead us deep into the dark parts of the woods, the ones that make us fear we're losing ourselves along with the heart that we hold dear in our hands. What are we so afraid of? What are we mastering? What are we exaggerating? Do we do this to each other because the makeups are more heartfelt than any conversation we've ever held or is it because we are to shocked in disbelief to actually fess up to our wrong doings? Every single one of your apologies is a needle wedged into my skin deeper and deeper, and eventually I become numb to them and forget what it means. And here we go making cowards out of one another, using each other for the wrong, fighting until the end, but loving only in the cold and lonely night. Why do we hurt each other the way that we do? Why do we force things upon one another when we are already so exhausted and overcome with fear? Is it because we want to face it head on and just get it over with or is it because we don't want to retrace our steps and take the time to fix that one small crime? And here we go fighting that fight, the one with endless possibilities, loving one another no matter what. Do we take what we can get or do we take what we deserve and forget the uncalled for fits of distress? I'll tell you one thing, this isn't a game, it's how you hold on and how you love that makes you tame. 

Cassadee Pope, From The Bottom Of My Heart.... Thank You!

This is just how I feel personally about her, whether you disagree or not, well that's your problem. She truly does inspire me to do my best and before surgery she talked to me about it and the fact that she wants to help spread awareness on this disease I have and that many women are affected by means the world to me. She gets me, not just as a supporter, but as a friend. When it comes to winning The Voice she's already won, but I know for a fact she will win on Tuesday night. She deserves this more than anyone and I'm honestly getting teary eyed right now as I type this sucker out on my phone. She's graced us with her, presence, voice, lyrics, story, but most of all her support and encouragement she gives to others. She makes me strive to be to be a better person, she makes me strive to go after my dreams and set realistic goals that are achievable. Cass it's because of you that so many of us want to be a better person, it's because of you that we all want to go after our dreams. I know all of you cassettes believe this and get this too. Reblog this if you believe in our light in the dark, Cassadee Pope. Pope Gives Us Hope, and that will NEVER change. A personal thank you to her for helping me through my crap time and for the advice she gives. She never fails to amaze me. She's going so far in life and is doing such amazing things already, and I can't wait until they crown her winner on Tuesday, even though in my heart she's already won, not just The Voice, but she's won me over.

Quick update.

My Fight With Endometriosis. This Is A New Start.....

My Decision

Ready Brooke, take a deep breath. Now hold it, and let it out. You can do this. I've made the decision to get a full hystorectomey due to how bad my Endometriosis has gotten. Lupron worked for maybe 3 months out of the 6 months that I was on it, but living a life of pain is something I cannot do anymore, and no single person influenced my mind on having this done, I MADE THIS DECISION ON MY OWN, just to set it straight. As bittersweet as this is, it has to be done. My dreams of having a family one day can and will still happen. I may only be 21 going on 22 with having to do this, but you can't be happy unless you are healthy and I am ready to move on from this. I've shut down completely from the ones I love because of this, from myself especially. It's time to get on with my life and live like a normal girl in her early 20's does, even if that means taking this step. My depression, anxiety, and panic disorder has gotten out of control because of it and I'm ready to take back control, but I honestly owe it to my God, my savior Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit, my beautiful, amazing, supportive, family and friends, and my Endosisters as well too. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting me through this. I love each and every single one of you so much. Words can't even express how truly grateful I am to have you in my life supporting me, loving me, and encouraging me. I will continue to speak out about this and give my support to other women going through this, I'm going to be there for any women who have this or if any women think that they may have this. Just know one thing, You are not alone. There is always going to be support, and I'm on that train of it.

Raw In The Flesh

A pure heart is raw. It's beat around, thrown, picked at, torn at the seams, but carefully put back together slowly, but surely. Having a raw heart, makes you aware, it's not cooked and numb, for if that were the case we wouldn't be able to experience a true taste of feeling. A raw heart in the flesh is what keeps us alive, not an over processed examined piece of nothing.