Anberlin Has Truly Saved My Life. Thank You.

In October it will be 2 years since I've touched a pair of scissors and put it to my shoulder, it will be 2 years that I came to the realization that regardless, of having severe Endometriosis with surgery after surgery, having depression and anxiety, or problems from my certain "family members" not giving a damn, I can make it through. A lot had to do with music and writing. When I write I'm able to get it all out and say what I want and need to on paper or through blogging. Music played a HUGE role though; with bands and artist such as Paramore, Explosions In The Sky, Hey Monday, Cassadee Pope, Sleeping With Sirens, and Conditions. However one band has literally stuck with me since my high school years when my depression all started to take a heavy course. ANBERLIN, helped me get through it all. Every word, lyric, song, song title, melody, and beat, just everything composed by them got me and brought me a step closer to that goal of feeling healed, or realizing there was a better action to take to get me to a solid state of mind. I even made my mom listen to their music when our relationship started to get rocky and it actually helped us bond like a mother and daughter should. I'm so extremely grateful for what Anberlin has done for me. I would give anything to meet them in person and say thank you. Unfortunately I was always sick or in pain from my Endometriosis to actually go to a show, but I know one day I will get that chance to see them, hug them, and thank them for helping me out of that dark place. I can't believe I will be 2 years sober from cutting or even having a thought about it. So for now, I will thank them through my writing and my blogging. I don't know what I would've done without you, or without out any of those bands and artist I listed above. Anberlin, I hope you know how much you have inspired me and motivated me to do my best to stay positive everyday. Thank you for singing me through the rough times. I will love you forever and always, and I'll be standing in that crowd of fans one day singing every word to every song you play like I do at home everyday. "You Caught Me On The Way Down." That I know to be true.

Anberlin.

To be honest in 2010 when I was going through all of my health issues, including: my knee surgeries, trying to diagnose what was later to be endometriosis, and dealing with my depression and anxiety, I found an outlook. Writing helped me so much, but so did music. Especially Anberlin. I was 3000 miles away from my beautiful family, my health problems were getting out of control, and this made my depression and anxiety worse. Their music helped me out of a really dark place. I used to cut, and listening to more of their music helped apart me realize that I needed to stop. I would give anything to meet them or see them live. I just wish I could thank them for helping me and for them to continue to help me through my rough patches. I've never been so grateful for a band like I am for Anberlin. I hope they can see this one day and know they've helped save apart of me. "You caught me on the way down."

Making Some Sense.

We go on trying to make sense, of what doesn't make sense, and when we finally take a step back and look at it all, we get frustrated, angry, depressed, and confused. We aren't supposed to understand it all, but we are expected to learn from it. By saying all, I mean life; the life we got and the way we choose to live it. Happiness may be choice, but the obstacles and illusions we're faced with, those aren't what we choose to be apart of our life. Those obstacles and illusions aren't hand picked just so we can feel gloomy all of the time. Shit happens and sometimes those breakdowns we have are necessary to make leaps and bounds over the so called walls blocking us from getting us to where we need to be. One obstacle I'm learning to overcome and see from a better and clearer perspective is love, and who I'm choosing to love. In all honesty, the majority of the ones I love so much are thousands of miles away. Distance may make the heart grow fonder, but it still hurts to be so far away from them. On an emotional level loving those people is an amazing and a beautiful feeling, but physically it's draining the energy from my body because the missing has gotten so out of hand. This brings me to wants and needs. The wants and needs we have are like coins we throw in a fountain. Our wants are the coins we decide to throw into that fountain and wish upon, and our needs are the coins we leave behind in our pockets and save for later hoping we get a chance to make everything right. Either this will all make sense, or it won't at all. It's how we choose to perceive things, how we choose to feel, and act upon every single obstacle and illusion. So let me ask you this. Are you getting to choose the amount of control you have over YOUR actions, over YOUR LIFE, and over YOUR feelings? Think about it, but don't think too long because that will just be another situation that doesn't make sense.