My Letter To Anberlin Went A Little Something Like This.

This was my first tattoo, happened 4 years ago and it will always be my favorite and most meaningful tattoo. This band, this group of guys, these individuals, and human beings hold so much amazing and beautiful space in my heart. Words cannot describe how much they mean to me. They literally saved my life. I'm not sure if they got my letter, but here's a little background on why they are so important to me. In October of 2011 I was going through a really rough time, I was diagnosed with endometriosis, I was 3000 miles away from my parents and younger siblings, I had to drop my college classes because of how sick I was with my disease and the surgeries that went along with it, and my biological father made it clear he did not want me in his life anymore for the second time. October 16th 2011, that day will be comforting, yet haunting because of Anberlin and how quick my better judgment briefly crossed my mind. I drank to the point where I didn't know my words from my thoughts. All I could think about was how I didn't deserve to live and how much grief I was causing others. I was being selfish, cruel, and feeling way too sorry for myself. I blacked out and at 1:42-1:43 am, I saw the scissors next to me and I saw the blood that had gotten on the floor from the self inflicted wound I gave myself on my wrist. I honestly didn't want to get up, but I heard playing from my IPod dock, Dismantle Repair. The words were so clear, it was if they were all speaking to me: "Things are gonna change now, for the better." Like they were telling me to not give up and to get help. At that point I called for my roommate and the next thing I knew I was awake with IV's hooked into my veins with the sun barely peaking through the hospital window. If it weren't for those powerful words, that powerful song, that powerful band, and group of amazing beings, I wouldn't be here today. I've been sober for drinking and cutting for 2 years now and I've got Anberlin to thank for that. They continue to help me and the support and encouragement they give to me through advice, words, and music is beautiful. Music can pull you through so much, don't ever doubt that, and don't ever doubt yourself. I've grown a lot in the past few years and even if things are still tough, I'm in a right mind set and I'm proud of myself. Remember, "Things are gonna change now, for the better."