Faking It.

These smiles I put on are all fake and forced for everyone, it's like I'm a fish in the sea and all I can do is blink at the shark who is going to eat me alive. The force hurts my heart and on the inside I feel ripped apart, but if anyone specific found out that I was "crazy" they'd disown me in an instant. Lately people who claim to be my friend are also claiming my feelings and trust, and without knowing it they can take me down when I least expect them to and it's an explosion that busts. Nothing is what it seems anymore, and the simple things in life seem to be the difficult things that I can barely do with fear by my side and the sea sickness from the ride. So ask yourself this, when you say you're going to be there for someone who really needs and cares for you, will you be, or will you just be another shark taking those feelings away? Trust is an issue and by all means pass the tissue, because deep down I put my trust and faith in you, and all you are doing is driving me away, driving me away deep into the sea. I refuse to be cold down there, and I refuse to be swallowed by that monster, so with careful caution I will become that monster that trusts nobody except the family I was born into, which is rare because they will never leave me, they won't try and capture me for attention or a battle that I don't stand a chance in. I wish the other fish in the sea could be my friends, I wish I could trust them with my scales and fins, but my mind says no, and just go with the flow. These smiles are fake and forced, I leave you wondering and assuming, that I don't mind, but please don't toy with my heart or what I have left of what keeps me going in this time. Don't make promises you can't keep, because if you break those, I will have to cut you off and throw you into the deep.