Slivers, Countless Slivers

Maybe I'm going about this all wrong. I miss being wanted, needed, I miss being loved just because, or being that one reason that somebody has, that one reason that gives them light back into their life. I feel fallen, like half of my heart is there, but everything I do, I put my whole heart into, or I try to rise above and fly through it all, fly through the hard impact, but I'm doing it with one wing, because when you hurt that bad everything feels like half, you feel like half. Maybe I'm just half there when it comes to things, but in all honesty I'm fully aware, fully there, and if you'd just give me chance you'd see that too. I have a tattoo that says "You're Not Alone" and truth be hold I got those for those I love, to show that they are not alone, but how do I go about saying that I'm the one in the wrong because I feel alone. Even with my faith as much as I have, it still doesn't feel like enough. I'm searching, but for what? I'm so extremely scared that I will be alone, forever. I just want to share my love, my heart, my everything with that someone who deserves it. Maybe I haven't found my man in the moon, but just a sliver, and to be honest that sliver is deep and it hurts, that sliver is a belief, a belief you get when people say they love you and are going to be there for you, words mean something, but when people say them they say them in the moment, not for the long run. So the number of slivers I have I couldn't even count. Healing, is that too much to ask for? I find myself confused, lost, and insecure. The past was bad, really bad, but it impacted me to grow. What if I haven't grown though? What if I'm just walking in place instead of moving miles stones, or even moving in baby steps? We all wonder what it's like to love and we've all been there, whether it be right or wrong we've all been there. It's something we need and can't live without, so is that why we are so quick to rush instead of actually wait. I still don't know and I'm still trying to process what past relationships did do me. I can't express how much I look up to my mom right now. After what my biological father did do her. He hurt her, bad. I still see the hurt in her eyes even with her have founding that happiness, the hurt hides behind those beautiful, loving eyes. I watched her hurt so much, and the that process, I started hurting, I hurt because I couldn't fix her, I couldn't fix the situation, and I still question whether or not on the matter if I was the cause. That's a main reason that I'm afraid to love, because it hurts, love honestly hurts and it can be so unfair, and it can downright just suck, but going through that, isn't that's what's supposed to happen? So I ask myself all of the time, will these slivers surface, will they plucked out by that one true love, by that knight in shining armor, or will they begin to sink deeper and deeper, and grow into my heart, turning it into a slivered heart of stone? I hope I'm wrong about this, but nobody has ever given me a reason to believe in a saving love.